Democrats Secret Weapon: UNLEASH THE BIDEN! The Biden Gaffe Machine

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Democrats Secret Weapon: UNLEASH THE BIDEN! The Biden Gaffe Machine

 

While top political campaign managers are in virtual shock over the rise of Donald Trump, they are rapidly trying to analyze his voter power.

Tons of overnight contracts just went out, to special consultants, to have them try to figure out how Trump busted the six years of planning for the Hillary take-over.

The answer, though, is simple. In a speech Hillary comes across as stilted, insincere and massively rehearsed. Her neophyte social media consultants are too young to get the game and her old Nixon years advisors are too old to understand new media.

Trump, on the other hand, avoids scripts, says what he is thinking and reacts with honest, (possibly crazy), but honest emotion.

In the course of Trumping Hillary, and sending her public approval into the can, Trump has made himself famous for his gaffes. Politicos are shocked that statements that would destroy a Graham or Cruz, add another 100,000 voters to Trumps roster. It is simply amazing!

So Trump can work the gaffes. Trump is the JayZ of Gaffes.. or IS HE!?

Off in the distance, the roar of thunder rises from the horizon. The mountain rumbles. A hairline crack appears at the base of the mountain. Volcanic steam vents through the ever broadening cracks. The ground rumbles. Dark clouds gather in a swirl above the tower peak.

With a crash of lightning, and the in-taken sigh of a thousand angels, the mountain bursts asunder and a man stands before us. He is silhouetted in light. His bare chest emblazoned with a single letter: “B”.  The Music Swells. Another flash of lightning.

IT IS BIDEN!

GOD OF ALL GAFFE MASTERS!

He leaps into his fluorescent yellow TransAm and floors it. The music hits a crescendo of hard driving biker-from-hell hard rockin beats.

Biden roars across the political desert steering straight at the Trump!

Nobody on Earth can Gaffe like Biden.

No living human can even remotely approach the Biden intimacy of a public Biden erotic neck massage or a Biden wife-squeeze at the podium.

Nobody can say the things Biden can say. Nobody is as relaxed, chilled out and possible stoned, as The Biden.

For all of Hllary’s façade and insincere platform presence Biden brings the lugubrious, casual, laid back ease of comfort that your uncle offers, along with some moon pies and an RC Cola with peanuts in it.  

Biden and Trump lock eyes. The fever pitch of the music fills the air as lightning burst a trail of explosions between the two.

Their lips quiver. They prepare their mouths. The first gaffes are coming…wait for it.. wait for it…

 

 

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